Man, it's been a long time since I've put up a new journal! I'm feeling pretty good right now. I just submitted a new poem dedicated to

. You can find the link on my profile page if you're interested.
Only bad thing right now is that I keep waiting for my mood to drop. I tend to get down because I feel lonely a lot (I feel unattractive and unwanted romantically). I feel great right now because I'm focusing on the positive, and I know (on a logical level) that there's nothing wrong with me and I'll meet great people eventually. It just sucks being gay: it's a lot harder to meet people. Especially so when you don't fit the gay "look" (I have less muscle tone than a glob of jello

). It's also hard because you see so many people around you in relationships and it reminds you of what you don't have, which leads to wondering if you'll EVER meet anybody, which leads to fear, which leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads to the dark side....

pride!
Anyway, I'm feeling good right now, and thought I'd put up a journal about it. Funny how I dedicated a paragraph to bad stuff, but oh well. Sometimes it helps to talk about that stuff anyway.